In Capable Hands
by Latia
Summary: Problem 1: It was in Togusa's van. Problem 2: Dotachin would murder them if he woke up. But that just made things more interesting, right? One-shot, orignally in response to the DRRR! Kink Meme.


_A response to the DRRR! Kink Meme Prompt "__In the back of the van. Only problem? Dotachin's there. Asleep. They have to be as silent as possible, and Erika's doing everything she can to tease poor Walker. Erika/Walker". Edited from original version._

Erika plopped her cheek moodily against the van's sweating window, air escaping her mouth in a melodramatic hiss. "Soooooo loooong~" she sang. Outside, the syrupy-sweet strains of a pop song mingled with the screams of a million sweaty Ruri Hijiribe fanboys, pounding the car until Erika's head felt like Shizuo had used it for a punching bag. "How long these things usually last?"

"Hours," her fox-faced companion sang in reply. "Hours and hours. Not including warm-up acts, encores, and signings- which our chauffeur is surely gonna attend."

Erika pouted. "Togusa would pay money to watch that girl shave her armpits- if he already hasn't. How much do you wanna bet that he's bugged her house?"

It was all Togusa's fault. The only reason that the rest of them had accepted his pleas to go to the impromptu concert was because none of them had anything else to do. Despite his constant ravings about the baby-faced girl, Ruri Hijiribe's music had been extremely underwhelming. And it wasn't like Erika and Walker were hard to please or anything- they read _Dokuro-chan_ _,_ for God's sake- but they soon found they couldn't even like Ruri ironically. And Kadota was…well, Kadota.

After about fifteen minutes it was fairly obvious that Togusa was the only one still excited by Ruri's super-extended version of "Doki-Doki Marshmallow Star Lover." After a quick argument that involved the questioning of Togusa's musical taste and a rather unpleasant suggestion of the species of Kadota's mother, all but Togusa retreated to the van.

So there they were. Kadota sat shotgun as always, feet up on the dashboard just like Togusa hated. He had pulled his cap down long ago and was sound asleep, offering nothing but the occasionally muttered "Dollars", "Scarves", "and on one odd occasion, "bunny rabbit hug time." Erika and Walker had taken their usual spots on the backseat and had spent the last few hours reviewing their cache of manga and light novels.

"Hey hey, did they ever explain why the hell Hermes could talk when no one else in Kino's world is magic?" Walker asked from behind Erika.

"Pssh, I dunno," Erika responded without moving. Her grey eyes still rested on the lights emitting from the concert hall. "The same reason there was a talking dog and a guy whose tuba blew acid: The author couldn't think of one" She sighed heavily again. "Yumacchi, I'm borrrrreeeeddd. Let's hotwire the van and make a run for it."

Walker laughed. "How? You suck at driving."

"Oh, like you're one to talk. Speaking of which, does Dotachin know why he doesn't have a cat anymore?"

"Look, I _said_ I was sorry. I never even saw the stupid thing!" Walker gestured dramatically to the air. "One minute you're pulling out onto an empty street, and all of a sudden there's cat splattered all over your windshield-."

"-and all over the front bumper, and all over the back bumper, and the roof, and the headlights, and the **engine**, and three of the tires- one of which, I might add, was a spare in the trunk. Like I said before, I don't wanna know _how_ you managed that, I'm just saying."

"Hmph."

They lapsed into bored silence for a full moment before Erika uttered a death shriek, throwing her hands to the heavens. "That's it. I'm done. End of the line. Finished." She mimed a knife to her heart. "Tell my mother I loved her, give my manga to Togusa. I feel it happening- the ~**KAWAII DESU~** is flooding my veins, my cells, my…" Erika flopped her hands vaguely. "…other veins. Because unless something REALLY GODDAMN AMAZING happens in the next ninety seconds, I shall drop dead of boredom-or, worse- become a Ruri Hijiribe fantard. Look!" She lifted an arm up to the dim light. "It's already happening, I can _see_ the manhair growing. In just a few minutes, the metamorphosis shall be complete, and I shall be just another sweaty old man with a Lolita complex."

She held a hand dramatically to her forehead in a false swoon. "Save yourself, Yumacchi! I won't be able to resist your moe-moe a second longer! Before you know it, you'll end up in an alley somewhere with cat ears and a sailor fuku. You'll look up, and above you, my seven chins a-quiver, the moonlight glistening on my sweaty cheeks, will be _me_ . 'It's okay,' I'll whisper, 'I'll be gentle~.' You'll scream, but no one will answer. _The night has only just begun_."

There was a long, totally-ignoring-you silence, and Erika pouted. "…it's been fifty seconds," she reminded the quiet van.

"Hmm~" Walker suddenly purred, much, much closer than she remembered him being. "Something 'really goddamn amazing', huh?" A pair of nimble hands worked their way around her waist. Erika's breath caught in her throat. "Whatever can we do~?"

Erika was silent a second, taking a moment to compose herself. "...hmm. We'll think of something," she turned towards him, matching his mischievous smirk with one of her own. "I suppose~"

Their relationship was an interesting one. The two of them had started as partners, being the most specialized in torture of the Blue Squares, and had soon discovered their mutual love of duplicating famous manga scenes. Even after jumping ship alongside Kadota and Togusa, they had stayed by each other's side. As the pair grew closer, they seemed less like two friends and more like one organism with two bodies. So it had been to the surprise of absolutely no one when the two of them decided to take things to the next level. In fact, things hadn't really changed that much. They were virtually the same as any pair of best friends.

Nix the making out.

Erika actually loved their relationship, she thought as Walker pressed his lips against hers, varying between soft and firm pressures before subsiding into a long, deep kiss. Things were great- hell, things were _awesome._ Really, the best boyfriends were just best friends that could do interesting things with their tongues. She wouldn't have asked for anything better- except for one, miniscule, yet-oh-so-irritating thing.

Control.

Anytime and every time things got physical, it had been Walker who had initiated things, and Walker who controlled things. Erika knew the score. In het pairings, it was always the guy who dominated, leaving the girl as the trembling, virginal ukeblob.

Bor. Ing.

But the thing was, she considered as she leaned into the kiss, pressing her hands to his chest. The thing was, even if they both had been guys, she knew that Walker would still be the dominant one. Even in joint torture jobs, seven times of ten she felt like she was following his lead. After all, he was the one who'd nearly take off a guys hand with nothing but a broken pair of chopsticks and a smile. The guy who'd set a bunch of creepos on freaking fire to save a cute girl. And part of her _liked_ that about him.

Most of her, though, was annoyed by it, maybe even a little envious of it. That was why they still hadn't done it. Erika didn't know why he wasn't pushing her about it -knowing what a perv_ he_ was- but she hadn't said a word about sex because she didn't want him to have another way to dominate her. It was such a stupid thing, such a _male_ thing to be concerned about. If she had brought it up he'd probably tell her it was nothing.

And that was the thing. It really wasn't a big issue, she kept telling herself, the problem was-

A small squeak emerged from Erika's throat, her train of thought completely derailed by one of Walker's smooth hands moving from her waist to her breast. She tried, too late, to contain the embarrassing noise, but she knew he had heard. She could _feel _him grinning against her mouth.

Damnit! See, this was the problem! When you're in the line of work they were in,you _always_ have to be the one in control. It's supposed to be the other one squirming and at your mercy, not you!

And whether she wanted it or not, Erika knew this mentality had migrated to her romantic life. But Walker, damn Walker was untouchable. There was exactly one thing she knew could get his goat- that stupid book he published a billion years ago. Everytime they fooled around, try as she may, nothing could make him as flustered as that damn doujin could.

And as he gently pushed her against the van door, sitting forward until he was almost in her lap, she accepted, with the smallest sigh of regret, that she was never going to be able to make him her plaything. And things would have progressed as they always had - had Walker not gasped and uttered one and a half words that made the night take a turn for the interesting.

"…_oh_, shi-."

He stopped. Erika opened her eyes, puzzled. "What's wrong? Is Togusa back?"

"No, it's-ahhh…" Walker sat back and rubbed the back of his head nervously. "You see, I…uh…"

She frowned. "Yumacchi? What-?" As she sat up, she suddenly registered a… _pressure_ against her leg. Her voice trailed off. "Oh." A moment passed, and her face split with a devious grin. "_Ohhhhh_~. Well well, someone's _excited_, huh~?"

"Eheh," Walker grinned sheepishly, untangling his legs from hers. He scooted back to his side of the seat. "Shoot, uh…I dunno what I should do."

"What do ya mean~?" She said, the picture of innocence. "Isn't it obvious?" Erika crawled forward, looking for all the world like a cat. "We take care of it."

Check and mate. A rewarding shade of red painted Walker's face, and for a brief moment his eyes widened. "Wha-…_here_?"

She nodded, showing two rows of pearly white teeth.

"_Now?_"

"Unless you wanna keep a stiffie for a good two hours." Erika couldn't stop grinning. It was perfect, absolutely perfect. She had knocked him out of his comfort zone. For once _he_ was the defensive one, the blushing uke. Yes, _here_ and _now_ it was.

"H-hold up a sec Karisawa," Walker laughed, holding up his hands and looking (to Erika's unending annoyance) more amused than anything. "Look, I really like you and everything, and believe me, I wanna do it with you…like," he gave her a grin that made her unconsciously flush. "I really, really want to."

Damnit to _hell_, he was getting the upper hand again. How the hell could he be so good at this game if he didn't know he was playing? "But?" Erika pressed.

"_But_, whatever you're thinking of, we can't do it _now_, there's-." Walker jabbed a thumb at Kadota's sleeping form. "HIM, for one thing. If Dotachin woke up and caught us, he'd KILL us!"

"I know that."

"And if Togusa knew we did it in his van, he'd kill us AGAIN!"

Erika tilted her head down to look up at him coyly from under the brim of her hat. "Well, do you have any other suggestions~?" She chuckled lowly at the blush on Walker's cheeks.

"Look, it's simple~" she said causally, quietly, as she crawled closer, until they were in a reverse of the position they had been in a few minutes ago. Erika mentally cheered at Walker's slightly agape mouth. "We just gotta keep extra-quiet, and Dotachin and Togusa will never have to know. As for…'clean-up'…" She gave herself another point as Walker's face grew redder. "You just leave that to me~"

"…uh, when you say that, you mean, like…" He swallowed. "O…oral?"

"Mmm~hmm." She traced a finger against the pale blue material of his jacket. "Just lie back and think of England…and whatever you do, don't wake-." She shrugged a shoulder towards their companion. "…the sleeping giant."

"Nnngh," Walker tensed up, and Erik could feel his heartbeat quicken beneath her finger. "B-but-."

"_Shh_." She silenced him with a finger on his lips. "Relax. After all, you're in very capable hands~"

_Note to self,_ Walker would think later, _never, EVER put something in Erika's "capable hands" ever again._

…

"Karisa …_Erika,_ what are y-?" Walker's voice was muffled as she pulled his sweater over his head. "ErikaIthougfrrouahahn-." There went the undershirt. "Wait, why-?" He was cut off by a _very_ eager pair of lips. One of Erika's deft hands disappeared behind his head, and soon became entangled in his short dirty-blond hair. "_Ehwhekahhhhh_!"

"Don't talk with your mouth full~" She giggled quietly. "And keep it down."

"Nnngh, but-." Urgh! Why the hell was the feel of her hand in his hair so-?

"Let's see~" She murmured, and suddenly his lips were kissing nothing but the humid air. Erika's mouth moved from his mouth up his jawline, lingering a bit at his temple. She sat in his lap, aligning her hips with his- which caused a new jolt below his belt. A shudder shook his body, and he gasped. "H-hold…" She continued, slowly, laboriously down to his neck…

"W-w-wait…NGHH." Walker suddenly had to clamp a hand over his mouth to keep from groaning. "What are you-?" He yelped, voice unconsciously rising a few octaves. "Don't BITE me!"

Erika only paused to wag a finger in front of her lips. Walker frantically shot a glance at Kadota, but thankfully he was still asleep.

"Good boy~" Erika purred, gray eyes agleam, and for a moment her tongue darted out to lick the irritated spot on his neck. Another jolt, stronger this time, and he had to fight off another groan. "Now, let's move on."

"KARI-." Blushing furiously, he lowered his voice. "Karisawa, look just…just take off my pants anFFF-." His hand jumped to his mouth to stifle yet another groan. Those cute vulpine teeth she had flashed at him only a few minutes before were being put to good use now. Slowly, she traced a trail of alternating kisses and nips from the tender spot under his chin down his neck to the hollow of his throat.

"Ggghh…ffff..." Walker squirmed under Erika, arching his back in a vain attempt to pull away. Just WHAT was she doing? He had asked her to take care of his 'problem', not…TORTURE him like this!

He barely stifled another moan. "Nnnn…" It was too much to bear. He reached a hand to fiddle with the latch at the neck of her dress, but she merely batted it away.

"Just a blowjob," Erika reminded him quietly. "You don't get to see me naked… not yet, anyways."

Walker had to literally bite his tongue to keep from swearing. "_You get to see _me_ naked_!" He hissed under his breath. "_And this totally isn't a blowjob!"_

She looked up at him, batting her feathery eyelashes at him innocently. Walker suddenly felt very warm. "I know that. I'm just trying to help," she said, giving a pout that melted into a cat-like grin. "You can't tell me you don't like it."

Walker felt the blood boiling in his head. "I…hhhnnngghh, _yeah_, buUUUU-."His voice hitched again as Erika's mouth continued down his chest, nibbling his pec daintily. Unconsciously his hands balled into fists as he felt her hands moved down his spine opposite her mouth.

And the thing was, god help him, he really did like it. The fact she wasn't allowing him to undress her, the fact Dotachin was right there, the…freaking BITING. Everything was driving him near insane, it was just…he had a _REALLY BIG_ issue to attend to, at the moment. An issue that was getting worse and worse by the moment. The only thing keeping him from coming at that second was the incredibly graphic mental image of what his body would look like if Togusa found his mess in the car.

"Ye…yes, okay," Walker hissed frantically. "I like it, I like it a lot, but-I kinda have a problem that YOU said you would help with."

"I know," she said calmly. Her lips were about at his waist. "I'm helping. I'm just trying to help you relax before I do it."

Walker clenched his teeth. "_THIS ISN'T RELAXING."_

"Togusa-."

The two froze, stiffer than statues. Their eyes were glued to Kadota, the source of the sudden mutter. For almost half a minute neither moved (which, considering where Erika's knee was, was not working well for Walker) as Kadota shifted slightly in his seat, muttered something like "Yermomsadilfffskssnu…"…and began to snore again.

"…phew." Walker let out a sigh. "Way, way too close," he whispered. He looked down at Erika, and she returned the look. He sighed in exasperation. "You…fine, keep at it, just..." He whined piteously, looking less like a fox and more like a kicked puppy. "_Pleaseeee_, just _do_ it, I can't…keep it in much longer."

Erika smiled. "Whatever you say~" Almost lazily she straightened up, looking him in the eye. "Hmm." She cocked her head at an angle.

"Wh…what?" He looked at her suspiciously, sincerely hoping his face wasn't nearly as red as he thought it was.

He was answered by the sound of his pants being unzipped.

Walker nearly cried out in relief. _Finally._ Now she just had to-

-kiss him on the mouth again.

"**FFFFFFUUUUU**-." He didn't even try to keep his voice down this time. _She couldn't be serious! If she was gonna start the whole thing over again-!_

"You look so silly when you're mad~" Erika teased, not even batting an eye at his barely suppressed RAGE. "Your eyes go all squinty and pointy, like…you look like an angry kitty cat."

"Do not!" he hissed. He knew he probably did.

Once again, Walker was forced to endure the alternate jolts of pleasure and pain (although the tiny nips she left on his skin weren't even that painful, he had to admit) as she sank from his jaw down his neck to his collarbone (he let out a tiny yelp as she bit a little harder than usual. He foresaw a hickey in his future) to his chest, down his torso. Perhaps she felt pity for him, because she was going quicker than before, but it still did little to ease the building pressure in his pants.

"Erikkkkaaaa," he whined, nearly whimpered. His fighting spirit had leaked out a long time ago. "I'm not gonna…"

"Patience." Her lips trailed down his waist.

He did whimper this time. "I'm gonna dieeeeee~" _Weird_, thought Erika. He had reached a point where all the tension had made him loop back into his usual joking attitude, like a video game score. Part of her was relieved- at least he was calmer. In any case, it was time to finish things. Her hands moved down to unbutton his pants.

"Huhn?" Walker's eyes opened for a brief moment. "Are you…?"

"Yeah…I've been too mean, haven't I?" She straightened up to give him a quick peck on the cheek. "Poor thing~"

The act of her sitting up had pressed her hips against his, _again_. He flinched. _Oh, jeez._ "Nnnn…"

Erika grinned. "Alright, alright…" Slowly she sank downwards, and soon Walker felt his jeans slip the same way…

He inhaled deeply.

"Nnngh…" Erika looked up to see that his tawny-yellow eyes flickering open for a tantalizing moment, as he winced. Color flooded his face in a hot wave. He licked his dry lips, panting a little. She smiled, and just to toy with him, she twirled her tongue.

"Ahhh…c-crap…" He exhaled, laughing a bit. Goddamn, it was hot in there. "Ah-!" Walker quickly clamped his mouth shut, keeping a wary eye on Kadota. Wonderful. He could feel her suppressing a chuckle.

"Soooo~ sensitive," she murmured, sounding a bit husky. Her deft tongue rolled along the base again, earning her another groan, yet not allowing him to climax.

"Er…ika," he panted. "I can't…"He chuckled despite himself, his lips twitching between a sheepish grin and a pained grimace. "I'm not…gonna be able keep this up for much longer…"

She nodded. "Roger that~" she stated, a perfect imitation of Celty. Slowly, Erika slid her lips down his

(…_ (;`Д´) ! _)

and began to

_(__Σ__ (_；ﾟ_Д_ﾟ_)__$$$!%?%$#!)_

"Ah…Fuu..ffffff-" Walker arched his neck a little. "Ah…ah, jeez," he murmured, halfway between laughing and moaning. His breath was coming out in hot, increasingly heavy pants that shook his entire body. _Just a bit longer, _he told himself. _Just a bit-_

"**AAH~!**"

The van went dead silent, apart from an annoyed grunt from Kadota. Walker fixed his eyes on the roof. _I did not just do that._ Wincing, he chanced a glance down at Erika. She was staring up at him with a look of pure disbelief on her face.

"Pfff…pffffff…."

And, of course, she did the worst possible thing she could have done in that situation. She started to laugh.

"PFFFFFHHahahahaha!" She doubled over in hysterics, completely forgetting Kadota. "Oh mah…oh gawwd!"

"_Erika_!" He hissed. At that moment, he couldn't tell if he was more embarrassed by that hideous noise he let out or more horrified by the chance of Kadota waking up. "K-k-keep it down!"

"Ohgaw…_ppphahaha_!" She couldn't stop. "Wha ah you, ah porn staw? '_AAAH~!'_" She imitated the high pitched shriek he had let out. "Oh gawd, ah wish ah had ah camewah!"

"Eri—crap!" And now a third problem arose. Just as she had forgotten their sleeping companion and Walker's bruised pride (although, let's be honest, that's probably the one thing she _was_ keeping in mind), she had forgotten what she had in her mouth. And, well, as she laughed, her mouth and tongue were…doing interesting things to him. "Karisawa, calm down!"

She broke into another fresh peal of laughter. "Aha, oh mahn, dahn't tawk, I- pfttt!"

"Erika, I-!"

"Hahah, wait, ah need tah, ahahah…!"

"_ERIKA,_ **I'm gonna**-!"

_(__ｷﾀ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━__!)_

"…huh." After a long moment, Erika wiped her chin. Carefully, she lapped up the excess, trying her best not to miss a drop. "So _that's_ how it's like. In doujin and stuff," she said as she pulled up and rezipped Walker's jeans, "there's always like, gallons and gallons of the stuff." She reached for his jacket and handed it back to him. "But that was…a few spoonfuls, maybe.

"Not that that's a _bad_ thing," she quickly amended, upon seeing the look on his face. "That's actually better, you know?" Walker pulled on his hoodie wordlessly.

Erika frowned, and after a moment she leaned against his chest. "Hey~" She nuzzled the back of her head against his neck. "You're not mad, are you?"

He was pouting.

"Come onnnn~" She reached around his head and began raking her fingers gently through his hair. "You can't tell me you didn't like that."

"Hmph." But he leaned back and relented to the soft massage. His head was feeling fuzzy and dazed, and the feel of her slender fingers was helping him relax. After a moment, he made a noise like a satisfied cat and wrapped his arms around her. She smiled, snuggling against his chest. That was better.

"…it was good. Very…interesting. But…"

"But~?"

He groaned, and looked down at her, red-faced. "You," and he opened a single eye to emphasize his glare, "are pure _evil_."

Erika cackled. "What do you expect from a torture specialist?"

Walker sighed, thumping his head on the car window. "Next time we do that, I pay you back. _Doubl_e."

"I'll be looking forward to it~" They were quiet a moment. Erika listened to the dying fanfare outside. "…love you."

"Love you too."

She blinked. A small smile played on Walker's lips. After a moment, Erika stretched her neck in an attempt to steal another kiss, but he turned away coyly. "You're not kissing me after all _that_. Plus," he added, laughing at her pouting face, "you missed a spot."

So she had. "Spoilsport," she clucked, and without thinking, she lifted a finger to flick away the white glob under her lip. Walker made a sound at the exact moment she realized what she was doing. "Wa-!" Both were too late, and could only watch as she sent the tiny glob flying in a high arc, landing

-_splat-_

on the corner of Kadota's chin.

…

"Oi."

"Alksjhhhaj-." Kadota awoke with a snort to someone shaking his shoulder. He blinked his eyes until Togusa came into focus. "…oh, it's you," he said dully. " 'sit over?"

"Yeah," Togusa said shortly, sliding into the driver's seat. _He's still hurt about the whole Ruri thing_, Kadota realized, giving a derisive snort. "What's that?" Togusa asked, with no small amount of defensiveness.

"Nothing." Kadota gave a small smirk- which soon disappeared when he heard a familiar duo's giggles. He turned to the back seat. "What are _you _two going on about?"

"Nothiiiinnng~" Walker sang. "Just waiting for Mommy and Daddy to kiss and make up, is all~"

"Come on, get on with it, Dotachinnnn~" Erika said in a similar tune. "We know all about the secret passion you two share~"

Kadota showed what he thought of their imagined 'passion' with a one fingered salute. "Hey, Kadota." He turned back at the voice of Togusa, who was starting the engine. "What's that on your face?"

"What's what?" He rubbed a hand on his chin to find a small white speck of something. "What the…oh, right. I had a crepe earlier." He licked up the foreign splotch and made a face. "Ehh. Must have been bad."

As they pulled out of the parking lot, Kadota turned once more to the backseat suspiciously. "What's with you guys?" Erika and Walker were watching him with a matching pair of bizarre expressions. Eyes huge, mouths agape and twitching, their faces looked as if they were fighting between hysterics and horror. "Aren't you gonna go on about your yaoi crap like you always do? Talk about your 'ukes' and 'kizemes?'"

"Uh," said Walker. "Err," said Erika. After a pause, they simultaneously reached down, grabbed a random book, and hid their faces without another word.

"Tch." Kadota faced the front and pulled down his hat again. It was weird, but he liked it better when they were gabbing about all their fancrap. It was when they were quiet that he knew to be suspicious.

It always meant trouble.


End file.
